Dance My Darling. Dance with your Difficult Emotions!

I would describe difficult emotions as any emotion that you are not comfortable with. Every person has a story, experience, family model, cultural norm, or personal belief about emotions and their expression. Some are accepted, some are not. However, they still arise and fade within you, as part of you, like a visitor for a while. How we entertain these visitors speaks volumes about our "emotional intelligence"-being aware that emotions can drive behavior and impact people (positively and negatively), and learning how to manage those emotions- both our own and others- especially under pressure. (Inst. of Health and Human Potential)

Consider Rumi in The Guest House...

"This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond."

The Akashic record seems to identify emotion as evidence of something deeper as well. Much like the Buddha describes, emotions are messengers fueled by experiences and thoughts but they are not you. In essence, you are not your emotions. You notice them as they generate, take space, and engage with them in a patterned way. Emotions tend to speak of what a person is holding, reshaping or currently living. Emotion is wisdom, information, and the grounds for awakening. Caution is needed though to be mindful with emotion. As a potent source of information, how we handle it can be incredibly freeing or imprisoning. First though, I invite you to consider your current relationship with these emotions... shame, hurt, sadness, love, happiness, anxiety, confusion, embarrassment, and fear. Spend a few moments in quiet reflection, carefully drawing upon memories to observe your previous self experiencing these emotions. What do you tend to do when you feel them? What thoughts are attached to them? Are you comfortable sharing and experiencing them?

Allow me to give examples of healthy expressions:

Emotion as...

• A tool for going deeper to be curious about oneself, such as "I am recognizing anger moving through me, I wonder why I am so heated and what else is there?"
• A roadway for carefully expressing a collection of thoughts, such as "Every time I experience "x" situation, I start to feel "y" and so there must be patterned thoughts and stories attached to that situation that I can learn more about."
• A blessing of release or reshaping an experience such as "I sense shame here, what does it need to feel heard, nourished and supported?"
• A clue to ancestral patterns or relationships such as "In my house, no one talked about grief, therefore I tend to stuff sadness."

Examples of unhealthy relationships with emotion:

Emotion as....

• An attachment to your identity, such as "I am angry because I was hurt before, therefore I'm a fighter/ bad-ass/ take no bull-type person, or other stereotyped associated behavior"
• A rinse and repeat cycle, such as "When you do this, I feel or do that, every time, and that's who I am."
• As avoidance of oneself and blaming others, such as "It's your fault for how I feel" or "Because you hurt me, I'll shut down."
• A mystery of form of rejection, such as "I don't do anger, shame or sadness, and these aren't emotions I accept." 

Emotions not fully expressed, repressed, or danced with in the above unhealthy ways often results in dysfunction in our lives. In the Akashic Record, I am shown the importance of how folks perceive life experience... and the feelings they derive are everything. Meaning, we can all go through the same event but how we internalize or feel about the experience either creates karma, or gives way for lessons. In essence, we have the free will to choose wisely, or not, how we cope with emotion. And that is a powerful decision. I am often skeptical of those overtly resistant or judgmental to certain emotions as a therapist at heart, I often say... all emotions are meaningful. If we reject them, we reject a part of ourselves. I see physical ailment, troubled relationships, and inner conflict all the time in the clients I serve because of the long term unhealthy relationships they have had with an emotion, usually learned, or as result from past life trauma.

So where to start? Emotion is part of the human experience and is intended to be richly danced with, learned from, and integrated with a practice of curiosity and non-judgment. How you do this is unique to you but starting with permission to allow yourself to meet all emotions, is a wonderful place to begin. Keep in mind these realities when approaching emotions: (1) You are not your emotions, (2) Your emotions are here to teach you something (3) Compassionate engagement is necessary for learning, (4) Don't grip. Let them move and release, and (5) Allow evolution to reshape new relationships with old emotions. 

Learn more about what emotions are connected to past life events by scheduling an Akashic session here. Until our hearts meet again, I will be sending you light and permission to be fully expressed

.