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Be Grateful for Past Lives...I am (Part 1)

Do you know every part of yourself?
I once took a hypnosis workshop geared towards revealing important past life memories. While I had a profound experience reliving some lifetimes surrounding my work in the healing arts and in bringing communities together, I also saw a lifetime reflecting some of the shadow aspects of my soul. This blog is a 2 part series about having the courage to see your soul raw, as reflected in your past lives, and to be grateful for your unique, imperfect self. Part 1 is the intimate and vulnerable account of my own awakening to this concept and part 2, will hopefully inspire yours. During this holiday season, nothing is greater than the power of acceptance and gratitude. What better gift can I give to myself, and to my son, than to love the shadows and light as one?



Here's the true story of what I experienced more than 8 years ago...

During a guided past life meditation, we were prompted to imagine 3 doors. We were to open each door and look inside for a quick sneak peak. Behind the first door I saw empty grasslands and nothing more. When I opened the second door I saw a foreign woman in a red velvet poof dress with thick white pantie hose and heavy black heeled shoes, she was beautiful, but I immediately sensed she was an authoritarian, selfish, had servants, and cared little about others. Behind the third door I saw an old man quietly writing at his desk and dressed in Grecian white robes. He looked to be drawing symbols that seemed to be spiritual grids. After seeing the 3 images, we were asked to revisit the door that seemed of most interest to us. I hesitated for only a moment and then immediately knew that I was intrigued by the boldness and badness of the cold, yet striking, foreign woman.

I opened the second door again and this time I walked in. I was participating in a prompted meditation that directed me to look all around for landscape, people or places. I found myself inside a large wooden boat and people were busily running past me working on the upkeep of the boat, some were cleaning and others were directing the sails. But where was the foreign woman? As I walked through the scene I felt affluent as if the belongings were precious and expensive and I sensed a pride in whomever owned them. At about this time, I heard the meditation prompt gear me to now notice my gender and identity in the scene by looking down at my feet as a starting point, and it was at that moment that I had the biggest wake up call in my tidy, do-gooder life. As I looked down at my feet, I saw the big black heeled shoes with the white thick pantie hose and the lace trim on the bottom of that red velvet poof dress.
I was her.
I was "that" woman who I judged for her selfishness and greed.  I was her? Yes really. I think I gasped out loud during that moment of recognition and then I was rushed with immediate awareness of intense harbored feelings of resentment, fear, distrust and self-interest. I cared about material things. They mattered, and they made me feel good because I owned them, controlled them, and they couldn't hurt me. I treated my servants well, but still they seemed fearful of me. They were allowed to self-care, but only after serving me. I lived in total isolation in that life, as a rich, trader of goods, traveling the seas with my crew of hired help. I didn't care about others as much as I cared about myself. I was that woman and somewhere in time and space, thousands of years later, she lived in me still.

This beautiful past lifetime is the reason for my capacity to love in this one. I only recently had the courage to look more into these lifetimes due to reflections of rejection and mirrored insecurities in close relationships in my life. What had I done to attract this? What within me was still stirring for resolution? It was this. Since that somewhat traumatic past life hypnosis 8 years ago, I now exclusively seek the guidance of the Akashic Record instead to receive information about these lifetimes since it is relayed in a much gentler, and more supportive, lesson driven, way. I have since learned that my death as the foreign rich woman was my grace. In dying alone, nothing mattered more to me than the 1 servant who genuinely and selflessly loved me and took care of me as I crossed over.
Relationships matter. 
As simple as that sounds, relationships matter a whole lot. And 1 person makes a big difference in the experience of love and in altering this planet as a whole. It just takes 1 person to care. This seemingly inherent quality to care about relationships was born from a previous version of myself that rejected it completely. This is what it means to be grateful to the parts of us that still in many ways we are ashamed of. With enough mindfulness and polish, they come bearing the most abundant gifts.

Previous to this blog, I have ruminated with these aspects within myself and have not entirely accepted them as good and worthy. Time will tell if greater acknowledgment in bringing the worlds of light and dark, good and bad, right and wrong together will produce greater peace for me, for you, or for this planet, but something tells me that this is where we're all headed. It doesn't mean we're perfect or without accountability, it simply means we are un-blinded by the fragility of our ego and can move to a greater place of self-acceptance.

Part 2 of this series will focus more on key questions, journal prompts, and mantras channeled from the Akashic Record teachers on how we might all proceed in living fully awake a/k/a accepting all parts of ourselves. Which means totally living without self-criticism and shame. Now is the time to embrace wholeness by letting the ego go and facing yourself in the mirror. It doesn't matter what you find. You are beautiful no matter what. Have the courage to see that.

If you're chomping at the bit to read the channeled key tips described above in Part 2, fret not! In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I will be posting Part 2 just 1 week from today at the start of this holiday season so we can all get a move on with this work. If you feel the power in this message, please share this blog with someone you love who may also need to love themselves just a little bit more.  If you have an interest in shining a light on aspects of your shadow self, reach out to me here to make an appointment for an Akashic Records session.

Peace and many blessings!

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