You Can't Escape Conflict by Running: Walking the Bridge of Empathy

Sometimes the distance between souls is far, other times it's a step away. In either scenario, we must be brave enough to create, and walk, the bridge of empathy to connect with others to meet our vulnerability, and their vulnerability, with authenticity. Why? Well because relationship repair doesn't happen without this, and we don't change or heal our karmic issues without it either. Unless you are hoping to stay the same in steadfast patterns, you've got to stop running, and stretch that courage, when it comes to empathy, love, trust and forgiveness.

A great travesty indeed is the presence of fear permeating in our society now more than ever. People can be incredibly defensive, guarded, selfish and afraid. These behaviors, all rooted in fear, are congruent to the wounded state of the soul experiencing them. Why do we act this way? Here are some common reasons...

We protect fiercely within us that is most hurt. Our wounded child takes over, so instead of being brave and recognizing our wholeness by meeting someone else in a place of vulnerability, we shut down or run because we don't like other people illuminating our issues. I can always sense the karmic wounds in people because they shoot out of them in highly defended ways. Ouch!

We like our patterns, they are comfortable. Typically, the longstanding methods we use to protect our inner most feelings die hard. Humans don't like change and these patterns have worked for us so far, correct? Dig deep here and get curious. Have these patterns really worked for you? What keeps showing up for you? If it's repeating, and it's painful, you are being called to heal something.

It feels unsafe to learn something new about yourself from someone else. Can they be trusted? Do they have our best interest in mind?  So many questions and no assurances it seems. However, our higher self and spiritual source have no other means than to bring us life lessons on the wings of others in relationships. A strategy I employ is to watch the patterned responses in myself and the ways it keeps showing up in others. The gems are there and if you notice them, you can be all the wiser in healing them.

We think we avoid suffering by avoiding suffering. Not true. We perpetuate suffering by avoiding suffering. Face it, see it, have tea with it, listen to it, and as many of my clients would know, take really good care of it. Suffering needs attention, not to be confused with indulgence, but careful attention. When you address a painful relationship conflict in a vulnerable and brave way, you instantly break karmic patterns because a new direction is being sewn into fabric of this life.

We see value in pain and in many cases, we define ourselves by it. Identity wrapped up in suffering and pain is a no go for karmic resolution. I have attempted to convince clients to remove their white-knuckling attachments to pain. You would think people would want to let this stuff go? Oh no, it defines them. I hear things like "but's who I am" and "because of this, I am a fighter." Gently, and with as much love as I can muster, I explain that "who" you are is divine perfect and worthy. Your identity is not your karma, pain or patterns. These things are your wisdom, they are your teachers, nothing more.

We like complacency. Sometimes we play nice to keep relationships status quo so we hide our authentic feelings to not 'rock the boat'. This is an unhealthy way we avoid our fears around rejection. If we don't get the vulnerable response we hope for, then at least we know the reality of a situation, which is way better than remaining in an unfulfilling, one-sided or selfish relationship. Let the true colors of someone shine. Don't give them an out by avoiding your authentic voice. Life is too short for that.

Ready for a secret that might trigger you? 

In a Course in Miracles it is said that we truly cannot be wounded because the soul is unbreakable. It is only the perception of woundedness that harms us. I have added some quotes from a Course in Miracles to further support this reality:

"I am in the likeness of my creator.

I cannot suffer.

I cannot experience loss and I cannot die.

I am not a body.

Love created me like itself."

"Healing is accomplished the instant the sufferer no longer sees any value in pain."

Do I have you on board with this idea and are you ready to put some changes into play?

Magnificent.

• Bounce your patterns off a trusted person who can tell it to you straight, but with love.
• Be willing to hear things that hurt. 
• Open yourself up to changing your approach to relationship repair, meaning, be open to new ways of talking about hurt with people you care about.
• Running away, avoiding, or projecting it all onto others is a total karmic cop-out. Face. Your. Stuff. Bravely.
• Take a good long look at the repeating patterns in your life and celebrate the wisdom of knowing them.
• Start getting cozy with the idea that you are perfect, divine, whole and worthy. 
• Realize that any feeling sense you fiercely protect, is unbalanced and unhealed in some way.  
• Expect to meet people half way, or a little more, and expect them to meet you there too. 
• Have difficult and uncomfortable conversations with the intent to understand. You will survive, I promise. 
• You have the power to heal your life and release anything not serving your highest and best good. 

Check out my website for more information on how to heal underlying karmic relationships with insight from the Akashic Records. Until next time, Jai!