Karmic Parenting: Healing Yourself and Your Child's Past Life Issues

Becoming a parent is indeed among the most joyful and challenging things you can do in life. I myself, have embarked on this journey and have made it 2 years, hopefully unscathed, from too much harm to myself and hopefully my dear son Cai. Right about this time, I have been tuning into a bolder presentation of his soul's expression. Perhaps it's the archetypal "terrible 2's" described by so many. Perhaps though, it's the beginning of a rich glimpse into his soul's unique gifts, talents, challenges and areas of growth. For example, people marvel at my son's seemingly natural ability to be fearless and independent although he demonstrates a molasses pace with speaking. While pregnant, I got an insight that he was deaf in a past life and that music and sound would be an exciting part of his future life. Upon his birth, I was relieved to learn his hearing was stellar. However, Saturn was in the 3rd House in his astrological chart, which essentially speaks of growing through communication issues, and a clue to not only his past, but of his future make-up. My son Cai still relies on sign language more than spoken words and while I know he will be growing out of that, I am also sensitive to the reality that his development in this area will progress at a different pace than his peers. Knowing the spiritual significance of this issue is invaluable to any unnecessary worrying on my end, or worse yet, pushing or forcing this issue with his soul as professionals might indicate.

As parents, it's critical that we pay close attention to these behavioral quirks and show up in a way that is helpful, healing and nurturing for the presentation at hand. There are many things as parents we can do on either side of the coin, that will either energize or soften a child's soul lessons. Here's a short list of 5 things you'll want to know from a karmic parenting point of view:

Children are psychically sensitive
Children begin to behave and react at very young ages in ways that reveal their soul's familiarity. Kids are blooming into their unique selves, don't write off their behaviors so flippantly as "kids will be kids." This includes both their strengths and areas of challenge. They will begin to play out roles with words and actions that tell a story about who they were in previous lifetimes. For example, if you have a child that is perpetually needy and unwilling to be independent in multiple areas of life, then ask yourself what can you do to nurture, inspire and connect with that.

Children choose their parents
That's right, they do. In our karmic contracts, we choose to connect with souls that have similar ingredients and threads, most often related to attachments or unfinished business we have in previous lifetimes. There is always an exchanging of lessons between parents and children. It is not ever one-sided and sometimes, the children are teaching far more to the parent than the other way around. These relationships can be harmonious and healing if we handle them with care, courage and intuition. Often, we choose parents that will illuminate or trigger our unhealed soul issues so that these issues can float to the surface early and clearly.

Your child's karma is not your own
It's really critical that you don't respond to your child in a way where you choose a principle or preconceived ideal before considering the unique presentation of that child. For example, if you have a highly sensitive child around issues of punishment, go easier with that child despite the "norm" of what you would do with the average bear, or even what you experienced as a child. You will find that parenting is not a one size fits all for a household, and even for members of the same family. Be flexible with your approach always putting your child's need before your own reference point.

Take ownership over how your children push you
The buttons your children push in you is a clue to your own unhealed stuff. For example, my son will  horse play with complete strangers in a carefree sort of way and without asking their permission. My still fragile walk-the-line-approval-seeking stuff gets all flurried in these moments. This button he pushes brings up shame in me that needs to be released. It is my responsibility to own that and address it. Reacting to him in a way that would project my shame onto him is a dangerous way we slather our children with  karmic lessons that aren't really meant for them. Instead, we should sit quietly and examine what we need to heal in ourselves and allow our children to live their own lives separately.

Patterns repeat 
Mommy issues die hard. This is not to scare you but more to support your insight with your own mother. Take a good look at your relationship with her. Take an inventory of what was helpful, nurturing, challenging, and highly triggering about that relationship. Chances are you are likely to overcompensate for the things you perceive to be inadequate with your own children, and sometimes in an unnecessarily extreme way. Or, you may repeat these identical patterns as a mother yourself. When I facilitate the Akashic Records with clients, I often see multiple generations of patterns repeating themselves. The good news is that you can be the breaker of chains but not without your own acknowledgment of things you need to heal in yourself  first.

This topic is so rich and layered that it warrants further discussion and exploration. I am in the process of launching a Karmic Parenting workshop on this topic to support parents in being not only their best selves for themselves, but for their children too. In the interim, I would recommend the following writing tasks if you want to dive deeper:

1. Journal on the pros and cons in the relationship with you and your own mother and then examine any repeating patterns.
2. What triggers/energizes you the most with your current relationship with your child? 
3. How can you show up differently when your child acts out? Examine the difference between your knee-jerk reaction and what your child might really need instead.

It is possible to open the Akashic Records of children with their parent's permission. If you'd like to learn more about your child's karmic gifts and lessons this is great way to get a historical picture and summary of what's important. This is a session completed with the parent alone, and aims to support them with tips, tools, and techniques for gently supporting the evolution of their child's soul. If you are interested in learning more about this, or a future Karmic Parenting workshop, reach out to me here.

Love and light!